Another Tantrum?!
Using the HALT Method to Encourage Positive Behaviors and Decision-Making
Meltdowns. Tantrums. Talking back. Lashing out. Crying fits. Whining.
If you and your children are experiencing any or all of the above, you are not alone. Managing these challenging situations can sometimes take Herculean efforts. How can we help our children more consistently demonstrate positive behaviors and make healthy and positive choices?
The HALT slogan, initially utilized by recovery programs, reminds us that people are more vulnerable to making poor decisions when they are feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. If we pay attention to these four variables and can set our children up for success, we may be less likely to see some of those challenging behaviors.
HUNGRY. You can probably envision a time when your child was more cranky or irritable when they were feeling hungry. If your child is erupting in a tantrum, or having a meltdown, think about whether they have eaten recently/sufficiently and if a healthy snack or meal might be just what they need. Providing our children with healthful meals and snacks regularly can help curb some of those unwanted meltdowns. Plan snack breaks and meals into your daily routines and schedules. Older children may be able to assemble healthful snacks relatively independently, once they are shown how to do so by an adult.
ANGRY. Have you ever said or done something in a moment of anger that you later regretted? Many of us do not necessarily exemplify our best selves in moments of anger, and children are no different. Anger can sometimes flood the emotional system, making it difficult for our children to regulate their behaviors and make the best choices. Setting our children up for success, in this case, does not necessarily mean avoiding any scenarios which may bring about angry feelings. Anger is a healthy and natural emotion, and it is important for our children to experience and live through these feelings. Instead, we can set our children up for success by teaching them appropriate coping mechanisms to deal with uncomfortable feelings such as anger. Coping strategies might include learning how to pause and take deep breaths, count to 10, take a break, listen to music, write in a journal, or exercise.
LONELY. Have you noticed that your child seems to suddenly need your attention exactly at the moment when you have to take a phone call? Humans are naturally social beings, and our children are constantly seeking connections to others. Sometimes, our children’s meltdowns stem from needing more social engagement, in quantity, quality, or both. Carving out some opportunities throughout the day to connect (even if they are brief) can help sidestep feelings of loneliness and attention-seeking behaviors. Tell each other knock-knock jokes as you get dressed in the morning. Take a few moments, screens aside, to talk about your day around the dinner table. Read a story together before bedtime.
TIRED. Helping our children regularly get sufficient, uninterrupted sleep is also important. That’s because overtired, sleep-deprived individuals are not the best decision-makers. While early to bed, early to rise may work well for some, late to bed, late to rise may work better for others. Find a sleep solution that works best for your family, as long as your children are getting a sufficient and uninterrupted amount. Of course, if you have any concerns about your child’s sleep habits, you may also wish to consult your pediatrician.