The Power of Letting Go
Submitted by Susan Abramson, Lower School Interim Co-Principal

A few weeks ago, The New York Times ran an article that caught attention with the headline, “Parents Should Ignore Their
Children More Often.” Provocative title aside, the article offered food for thought.

The author of the article, USC psychology professor Darby Saxbe, argues that modern parenting is not only exhausting for
adults but also based on unfounded assumptions about what children need to thrive. She describes that historically
children grew up in mixed-ages groups with minimal supervision, a model that can still be found around the world. The
article suggests this model aligns with how children are biologically wired to learn and thrive, free from constant parental
oversight, and is much healthier for children and parents alike.

In fact, she writes, constant adult supervision may stifle important aspects of child development, including problem-
solving skills, social interaction, and independence. By letting go, even if just a little bit at first, children are given much-
needed space to navigate relationships and challenges. In these moments, build resilience and self-confidence. Given the
right context, “ignoring” can be an opportunity for them to explore, connect, and grow in ways that are deeply ingrained.

The article resonated with the message of The Anxious Generation, by Jonathan Haidt, which many members of our
community have read and are discussing. Jonathan Haidt is also the co-founder, with Lenore Skenazy of Let Grow, a blog
exploring the themes of independence, play, and how childhood has changed. These are all themes we continue to think
about as educators, and we look forward to hearing your thoughts and responses as parents.